Snow White and her apple cake of glory.

So, I have snow in my hair. For a few years now I’ve been struggling with what I thought was dandruff (uber embarrassing when you brush your hair out of your face and shower your black clothes in white freckles. Black because you’re clever and hip and a little bit emo, obv.) and have now owned every single type of anti-dandruff shampoo available in Oz and none of them have ever made a dent in the problem.

 My last visit to the hairdresser about six months ago (I don’t go very often, I cut my own hair until it gets to the point where people giggle and sneer at the rat’s nest atop my noggin THEN and only then will I pay money for someone to touch it. That’s what she said. Lol. I also cut my hair myself because I’m indie and devil-may-care and a super cool trend setter, obv. Double lol.) I was talking to the hairdresser about it AGAIN and she suggested that maybe it’s not dandruff, but actually a really, really dry scalp. I said “Polly (Her name isn’t Polly, but I LOVE the name Polly, so let’s just imagine it is because I have no idea what her name is. How rude of me? I paid her to touch me and everything. Lol!) I’ve tried every single type of moisturising product there is too, I’ve tried everything!! It won’t go away!!” Polly, being the clever salesman ninja that she is, sold me expensive fancypants conditioner which made my hair beautiful and soft, but had no effect on the white death on my scalp (damn you, Polly!). In the past few months it has only escalated to a point where I was nervous to touch my hair at all for fear of the dust storm that would inevitably ensue.

I’ll get to my point now.

I was lucky enough to receive my Coeliac Society WELCOME! package a few days ago. Said package of excitement and greatness was filled to the brim with information and samples. Oh, go on, have a look!

Upon foraging through the information I discovered a pamphlet all about Coeliac skin problems and found that it can lead to alopecia (I don't have that, but I thought it was interesting) which obviously makes me think of The O.C and China the horse who had the same problem. The major connection that I was interested in was with Coeliac Disease and Psoriasis/Dermatitis Herpetiformis. Yuckers. Itchy, skin rash of crazy proportions which is directly related to the disease which can sometimes be in specific patches, like the scalp. DUN DUN DUNNNNN. How frightening. I scratch my head just re-reading about it. But yet again that feeling of relief came over me. A REASON. OH, HAPPY DAY!

 Supposedly if I stick to the diet, the symptoms will disappear. After speaking with the nutritionist (update below) last week I learned that my “gut” (lol) won’t heal from all the damage of the allergic reactions until at least 2 months time, six months to see the overall affects. So I’m hoping the same goes for the whole snowfield hair situation. I can't wait to run my fingers through my own hair and not have a PANIC! moment (see, I had a point!).

So, obviously, if I’m writing about dandruff, that leads me to share a recipe for cake with you. The two go hand in hand: sprinkles. duh.

Chocolate Apple Cake of Tasty Mouth Explosions

4 apples, grated

¾ cup corn flour

¾ cup rice flour

¼ cup cocoa

1/3 cup caster sugar/brown sugar/ agave syrup

1 teaspoon bicarb

¼ cup almond meal

3 eggs, beaten slightly

2 bananas, mashed

1/3 cup vegetable oil

1 teaspoon of vanilla extract (NOT essence, it’s not GF)

Icing: 1 cup icing sugar

 1 tablespoon cocoa powder

2 tablespoons of juice (apple would be good, I used V8 berry juice)

1. Preheat oven to 180 degrees celsius, 160 if fanforced. Line lamington/brownie pan (20cm x 30cm ish) with baking paper.

2. Peel and grate apples. The recipe I used as a guide told me to then chop the grated apple, but I didn’t and it gave it a wonderful texture. Like biting into moss or something.

3. Sift all dry ingredients together into a large bowl, stir in the apple, meal, eggs, oil and extract. Pour into pan.

4. Bake for around 45 mins.

5. Meanwhile make icing, when cake is finished, tip out upside down to cool on wire rack and ice when cooled. You won't have time to take a photo before a significant chunk is already in the bellies of your loved ones:

OM NOM NOM.

So, the nutritionist was wonderful and gave me lists and lists of things I CAN eat, rather than can’t. Praise the gourds! She has also asked me to document everything I eat for the next two weeks before reporting back for judgement and suggestions. I am Jack’s healing colon.  Things I learned from the nutritionist:

• She talked to me a lot about osteoporosis and how I need to be really careful in making sure I have ALL THE CALCIUM EVER each day. So I took her advice and all the yoghurt and cheese in the land now resides in our fridge. 
• Seeded mustard, vanilla essence, liquorice and white vinegar are all dangerous and un-eatable for Coeliac peeps. I had no idea!
• The main challenge will be eating out at restaurants and getting “quick meals.” She gave me a list of some places in the area which are starting to cater for spesh’ people like us, but also lovely tips like making/getting GF pizza bases and putting sauce and toppings on them, wrapping them in gladwrap and putting them in the freezer. Ta-da! Frozen pizza like everybody else. She’s a clever cookie, that girl.
• Lots of people will say “Oh, just have a little bit, it can’t hurt.” Don’t panic, don’t get embarrassed. Explain to people who don’t understand “I have a genetic disease and I need to not eat this or I get really sick.” BAM. I let the panic wash out of my skin like blush from my cheeks. This isn’t going to be too bad.

The pooping is getting so much better. I just can’t believe how quickly it’s all happening. The main thing I have noticed though? Energy. Not like, oh yeah, I feel pretty good…More like ENERGY!!!!!!!! No more sleepy headed lady, no sir! I think my family and friends are already sick of me announcing everything like this -> HEY GUYZ LETS DO THIS LETS GO YEAH YEAH I’M READY AND I’M SO EXCITED. Most of my conversations have gone from … to ?!?!?!?!?YEAH!!!!!!!

Things I have struggled with this week:

People who ask “But what do you EAT?!”

Going out for dinner and after asking the staff about GF options, being told the only thing I could have was a bowl of steamed vegetables. Upon receiving the smallest bowl known to mankind, I discovered they were 90% onion and 10% purple cabbage and I easily could’ve had a little cry because  I do wear a lot of black and am a silly little emo, probably. Or it might’ve been the onions.

Dry, crumbly GF food. It doesn’t have to be like that, yo.

Things that have helped this week:

Mexican food. It’s made of corn and beans. It ain’t hurtin’ mah belly.

Baking my own glorious things of non-belly-hurties.

When the boyfriend screeches about finding new gluten free things in the supermarket “BABY! LOOK! BBQ SAUCE! Corrrr!”

Finding people who understand.

Turning up to the tiny little pub down the road and asking them through gritted teeth what is GF from their menu and being asked to wait a moment while they spoke to the chef. I cringed and thought back to the books I’ve been reading, namely one which keeps reiterating that I SHOULD NOT BE EMBARRASSED. This is a disease, I am not being fussy. Remember all the toilets you collected? So I shook myself and stood up tall in my little shoes (black, of course) and the waiter returned to tell me they could make me anything I liked. So, obviously I asked for a Unicorn steak with Loch Ness Monster nectar. They told me they were all out* so I asked for fish and they made me THE GREATEST DINNER EVER. Grilled barramundi, mashed potatoes, broccoli, carrots, beans all drenched in happiness (or maybe lemon and dill, I could be mistaken).

*sometimes I lie a bit when I get excited.